Interview part 1…

So for today’s post I wanted to interview my older son and get his view on it all. I sat down with him this past Sunday and asked him some questions. I’m planning to have the next two posts devoted to this interview.

My older son, Christian, before our interview on Sunday
My older son, Christian, before our interview on Sunday

I asked him a few questions to warm him up:

Me: So what is your name?

Christian: Christian

Me: and what is your birthday?

Christian: December 25th, of 2006

Me: So tell me, what do you know about what happened to dada and his surgery?

Christian: I know that it was a tumor

Me: And where was the tumor?

Christian: In your head.

Me: And what did they have to do?

Christian: Cut your head open.

Me: What did they do to the tumor?

Christian: Took it out.

Me: Do you know how long it took?

Christian: About 2 years or 1.

Me: Do you remember that dada was in the hospital after?

Christian: I remember you lying there like this. (He makes an impression where he stiffens his arms by his side and stared at the ceiling without blinking).

Me: Do you remember being at home with mama a lot?

Christian: No, not that much. I went home with grandma and grandpa

Me: What do you think caused me to have the tumor?

Christian: That you ate too much in the night and you didn’t eat enough during the day.

Me: So you still think that?

Christian: I think that you eat too much sugar.

Me: What do you think now when I see your friends or go to your school and I walk and talk funny? Does it bother you at all?

Christian: No.

Me: Do you remember me before?

Christian: You couldn’t walk, oh you mean before the surgery…You played tennis, that’s it. Now you do much more work than before.

Me: So you said before that I couldn’t walk, what did you mean?

Christian: You couldn’t walk in the surgery.

Me: Do you think dada’s changed at all after the surgery?

Christian: Yes.

Me: How?

Christian: [You’re] not wearing an eye patch.

Me: Anything else?

Christian: No.

Me: Does it make you upset that I can’t play soccer and basketball with you?

Christian: Yes.

Me: How do you think mama’s been through all this?

Christian: She’s been regular.

Me: What do you think about dada going back to work?

Christian: In 2 years [from now].

Me: Whose fault do you think the tumor is or do you think it’s anyone’s fault?

Christian: No one’s, no the tumor’s fault.

Me: But you said I ate too much sugar before, so do you think it’s my fault?

Christian: No, I think there’s too much sugar in your brain.

Me: So you know that this isn’t your fault and it has nothing to do with what you did right?

Christian: Yes, I know that it’s not my fault[1]

 

[1] A fantastic article by Bharadwaj et al. titled “Talking with Children About a Parent’s Serious Illness” found in the November 2013 issue of the American Family Physician magazine instructs parents to keep harping to their children that the illness is not the child’s fault.

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