So for today’s post I wanted to interview my older son and get his view on it all. I sat down with him this past Sunday and asked him some questions. I’m planning to have the next two posts devoted to this interview.
I asked him a few questions to warm him up:
Me: So what is your name?
Me: and what is your birthday?
Christian: December 25th, of 2006
Me: So tell me, what do you know about what happened to dada and his surgery?
Christian: I know that it was a tumor
Me: And where was the tumor?
Christian: In your head.
Me: And what did they have to do?
Christian: Cut your head open.
Me: What did they do to the tumor?
Christian: Took it out.
Me: Do you know how long it took?
Christian: About 2 years or 1.
Me: Do you remember that dada was in the hospital after?
Christian: I remember you lying there like this. (He makes an impression where he stiffens his arms by his side and stared at the ceiling without blinking).
Me: Do you remember being at home with mama a lot?
Christian: No, not that much. I went home with grandma and grandpa
Me: What do you think caused me to have the tumor?
Christian: That you ate too much in the night and you didn’t eat enough during the day.
Me: So you still think that?
Christian: I think that you eat too much sugar.
Me: What do you think now when I see your friends or go to your school and I walk and talk funny? Does it bother you at all?
Me: Do you remember me before?
Christian: You couldn’t walk, oh you mean before the surgery…You played tennis, that’s it. Now you do much more work than before.
Me: So you said before that I couldn’t walk, what did you mean?
Christian: You couldn’t walk in the surgery.
Me: Do you think dada’s changed at all after the surgery?
Christian: [You’re] not wearing an eye patch.
Me: Anything else?
Me: Does it make you upset that I can’t play soccer and basketball with you?
Me: How do you think mama’s been through all this?
Christian: She’s been regular.
Me: What do you think about dada going back to work?
Christian: In 2 years [from now].
Me: Whose fault do you think the tumor is or do you think it’s anyone’s fault?
Christian: No one’s, no the tumor’s fault.
Me: But you said I ate too much sugar before, so do you think it’s my fault?
Christian: No, I think there’s too much sugar in your brain.
Me: So you know that this isn’t your fault and it has nothing to do with what you did right?
Christian: Yes, I know that it’s not my fault
 A fantastic article by Bharadwaj et al. titled “Talking with Children About a Parent’s Serious Illness” found in the November 2013 issue of the American Family Physician magazine instructs parents to keep harping to their children that the illness is not the child’s fault.